Showing posts with label self-awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-awareness. Show all posts

Feb 21, 2011

Thoughts on how joy and passion connect me to Divinity


Thoughts about divine, spirit, god/dess energy...

...a few days ago I went for short visit to the fabric store. It's far away and I don't drive so on the occasion that I get a ride there, it's an exciting thing! I walk in and feel like a 'kid in a candy store'.
It was a short visit, about 15 minutes, and I managed to find exactly what I was looking for... which is pretty neat considering I went in wanting "something satiny and slippery to make a scarf from... in colours I like" ... but didn't even have any colours in mind. ☺

I got 4 pieces of fabric and a bias tape maker and came back out to the truck with a huge grin on my face. I kept touching the fabrics on the way home and feeling so excited about working with them.

What does this have to do with divinity?

I have noticed that when I feel good, excited or passionate, about anything, I feel connected to the divinity within me and around me.
It doesn't matter what I'm feeling passionate about. It doesn't need to be something 'spiritual'. Last week we had a mild spell and I was on top of the world to be out on the deck, blowing bubbles. Yesterday I had great fun giggling with my partner over the antics and idiosyncrasies of our cats. Both of those got me connected to that divine spark within me, the spark that I believe is connected to the great, cosmic divine energy, that I believe we are all part of.

I have also noticed that when I feel down, depressed, sad or despairing, I feel disconnected from that spark. I know it's still there, but it feels like I'm wrapped up in layers of heavier emotions that come in between me and that spark.

I feel like the disconnection from divine is what makes me feel so down, so heavy... and yet at the same time, I feel that it is the very feeling down and heavy that disconnects me. So it's kind of confusing to know which comes first, or how it comes about.

The important thing in this, for me, is knowing that feeling joy, passion and love coincide with feeling connected to divine. It doesn't matter which comes first... just knowing that they happen together for me means that I can feel more connected by purposely doing things I love, doing things that excite me or inflame my passion.
I think I'd like to make a list of things that elicit love or joy in me.

A few that come to mind:
blowing bubbles
painting
rainbows of all kinds
talking to trees, plants and animals
sewing
dancing to a song I love
being in nature
doing or saying something that makes another person feel good
swimming in lakes
planning creative projects
gardening
singing to my cat (he loves it :)


What are some things on your joy list?
I'd love if you shared in the comments. It is so wonderful to read others' joys, loves (and I often get great inspiration!).
~☼~

Jan 1, 2011

Collage: Falling In Love With My Body

In a previous post, I shared about a dream I had that inspired me to make this collage and, hopefully, will inspire me to exercise entirely for myself. Not from any 'should', or because it's healthy or because it will make others like my body better.
Entirely for ME. So that I will be able to enjoy living in a strong, fit body that I like the feel and look of better than I do now.

I want to focus on working toward strength, flexibility and fitness - not a specific shape or size or lack of lumps and bumps :-)

I am hoping that in the process of getting more fit, I come to feel more comfortable being present in my body, and perhaps even fall in love with it. Being present is a huge challenge for me.


I enjoy what has blossomed in this collage. I'm still looking forward to adding in more details and decorations with black, white, silver and gold pens and the blank area below the word STRENGTH wants... something. Time will tell me what it will be :-)

Part of me is still feeling daunted. I find big change can feel very difficult to me and exercising regularly - without thinking of it as a chore - is a radical change for me.
I don't plan when I collage - I go through magazines and cut out the things call to me and then arrange them on the paper in the way that 'feels' right.
In the process of doing this, the issue about change got addressed with wisdom from some wiser part of me:"You will reach a turning point beyond which change comes easily"


The words "comes easily" are written on a colour copy of a watercolour painting that flowed out of me so easily after years of thinking I was 'no good' at watercolour.

The grungy blue star paper was made using this technique: grunge star rubbed impressions
~

Dec 30, 2010

What if I could fall in love with my body?

detail from collage in progress


Lately I've been feeling like I'm floating along without 'purpose'.
I'm not working due to disability and not volunteering for the same reason.
Although it doesn't come out a lot on this blog, I have pretty bad depression most of the time (though it has improved a lot since August when I had an amazing Energy Medicine session... when I do my homework the improvements are even better :)

I've tried to make my art my Purpose and it doesn't quite fit.
My art is one of my major Passions and I've always liked the idea of having my Purpose be one of my Passions... I'm not sure why it's not working. I wonder if it's because my art doesn't have big goals?

I had a very powerful dream recently in which I saw myself from behind, doing pull-ups/chin-ups in a backless top. I could see muscles and strength!
I can't even do half of a chin up in my waking life :-)
At the same time that I was seeing my body from the outside, I could also feel what it felt like to be in that strong, powerful, healthy and fit body. It was wonderful!
I've always hated exercising and have never had a body like I had in my dream and I awoke thinking, "What if I could have that?"
I wonder if I would hate exercise less if I thought of it as working toward a goal I desire, rather than a chore I feel I 'should' do?

I felt inspired and motivated and began going through magazines to make a collage, wanting to capture that motivation in a visual form that I could hang on my wall as a reminder. I hope to finish and post it soon.

In the process of cutting collage pieces, I found myself suddenly thinking, "What if I could actually fall in love with my body?"
It seemed inconceivable. Yet enticing!
For many, many years, my body has been a source of frustration and suffering, either not being able to do what I want it to or having all sorts of symptoms I don't want it to have. I feel that I have no control over my body, that I'm powerless.

I've decided to try and change my relationship with my body.
Perhaps if I start falling in love with it from the outside, it will sense that love and begin to balance on the inside.

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