Collage: Falling In Love With My Body

In a previous post, I shared about a dream I had that inspired me to make this collage and, hopefully, will inspire me to exercise entirely for myself. Not from any 'should', or because it's healthy or because it will make others like my body better.
Entirely for ME. So that I will be able to enjoy living in a strong, fit body that I like the feel and look of better than I do now.

I want to focus on working toward strength, flexibility and fitness - not a specific shape or size or lack of lumps and bumps :-)

I am hoping that in the process of getting more fit, I come to feel more comfortable being present in my body, and perhaps even fall in love with it. Being present is a huge challenge for me.


I enjoy what has blossomed in this collage. I'm still looking forward to adding in more details and decorations with black, white, silver and gold pens and the blank area below the word STRENGTH wants... something. Time will tell me what it will be :-)

Part of me is still feeling daunted. I find big change can feel very difficult to me and exercising regularly - without thinking of it as a chore - is a radical change for me.
I don't plan when I collage - I go through magazines and cut out the things call to me and then arrange them on the paper in the way that 'feels' right.

In the process of doing this, the issue about change got addressed with wisdom from some wiser part of me:"You will reach a turning point beyond which change comes easily"

The words "comes easily" are written on a colour copy of a watercolour painting that flowed out of me so easily after years of thinking I was 'no good' at watercolour.

The grungy blue star paper was made using this technique: grunge star rubbed impressions

~

What if I could fall in love with my body?

detail from collage in progress

Lately I've been feeling like I'm floating along without 'purpose'.
I'm not working due to disability and not volunteering for the same reason.
Although it doesn't come out a lot on this blog, I have pretty bad depression most of the time (though it has improved a lot since August when I had an amazing Energy Medicine session... when I do my homework the improvements are even better :)

I've tried to make my art my Purpose and it doesn't quite fit.
My art is one of my major Passions and I've always liked the idea of having my Purpose be one of my Passions... I'm not sure why it's not working. I wonder if it's because my art doesn't have big goals?

I had a very powerful dream recently in which I saw myself from behind, doing pull-ups/chin-ups in a backless top. I could see muscles and strength!
I can't even do half of a chin up in my waking life :-)
At the same time that I was seeing my body from the outside, I could also feel what it felt like to be in that strong, powerful, healthy and fit body. It was wonderful!
I've always hated exercising and have never had a body like I had in my dream and I awoke thinking, "What if I could have that?"
I wonder if I would hate exercise less if I thought of it as working toward a goal I desire, rather than a chore I feel I 'should' do?

I felt inspired and motivated and began going through magazines to make a collage, wanting to capture that motivation in a visual form that I could hang on my wall as a reminder. I hope to finish and post it soon.

In the process of cutting collage pieces, I found myself suddenly thinking, "What if I could actually fall in love with my body?"
It seemed inconceivable. Yet enticing!
For many, many years, my body has been a source of frustration and suffering, either not being able to do what I want it to or having all sorts of symptoms I don't want it to have. I feel that I have no control over my body, that I'm powerless.

I've decided to try and change my relationship with my body.

Perhaps if I start falling in love with it from the outside, it will sense that love and begin to balance on the inside.

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